new life...

So, I've finally settled into my sweet lil apartment in Baltimore, successfully attended the first few days of classes, made some very good friends, garnered enough reading to last me a lifetime (ah, the eternal pleasures of being a graduate student!).

Baltimore as a city seems to have a rather jaded voice. You hear about the sketchy neighbourhoods, the pollution scares, dark alleys, muggings and so on. Yet after coming to this city, I've also noticed how friendly people are, how beautiful the water looks through the big bay window at the Aquarium, the relatively clean and safe streets in Charles Village. I am not blind though. I do see the boards nailed shut in certain areas, the fact that people tend to travel in groups, and stay home after 7pm (unless you drive, and are with a group of 3 or more..lol).

Yet the city seems rather alive. My perception might be biased because of the people I interact with, whether it's at my apartment, the local student community in my area or the larger student community at grad school. Everyone seems friendly, welcoming and always willing to offer information. The key is to ask :) . In that regard, I guess it could be said that it's the same elsewhere. However, I like this city. I love Toronto (I know I'm biased, it's been home for a long time now!), yet this city will always mean something unique to me.

home...

home...
where does that exist
i've heard it said
that it's where the heart is
yet many more weep
at the mere thought
of leaving behind bricks and mortar
the essence of home to them..

To me, it's a place with your family
yet, I feel at home when I'm alone
is that right
or is that strange..
I believe it need not be either...

I love both options..
sitting in my room in Toronto
with my cup of tea
my mom cooking in the kitchen
my dad watching TV
my sister browsing the net
or here in Baltimore
where I sit alone
on my bed
wondering whether I should cook dinner
or eat raisin bran :)

Home is where you feel secure
safe within the confines of your personal space
certain that if something comes your way
you can deal with it.
I am at home in Toronto
and in Baltimore
with my family around
or all by myself...

by
Angela Archana Vincent

a new start...

Ever wonder how time flies by? I usually don't, either I'm too busy to notice the time or I'm so relaxed, I enjoy the spare time..lol..yep extremes exist, even in my mundane life. I remember talking about grad school in August last year, and it seemed so far away. Now it's here already. Tomorrow, I fly out to Baltimore to start grad school at Johns Hopkins - this experience is a first for me in a multitude of ways - my first graduate program, my first time without my family or close friends, my first time in Baltimore..I could go on and on. It's scary, thought provoking, exhausting (never knew planning a move was such a massive task!) and downright exciting. I was talking to a very good friend a few minutes ago, who was preparing to defend her Master's thesis tomorrow (besta luck you-know-who-you-are), and she described our emotions perfectly. I quote "It's scary, exciting and extremely scary!"..lol..couldn't word it better!

I'm actually amazed at the student community at JHU. Even before I land in Baltimore, I've made friends - other incoming and continuing students. Helpful and friendly. Let's hope the next year is as calming, exciting and educating, although I wouldn't mind if it's a little less scary.. :)

Well, for the next few days, I'm going to be busy shopping, cleaning, settling in and typically driving everyone around me nuts! To that end, Baltimore here I come.....

Oh, and before I end today's ravings...I was feeling a little lost the other day because I felt like I couldn't write 'poetry' lately..kinda like a writer's block. I just realized that this year alone I've written 3 poems so far..woohoo..the feeling cannot be decribed or understood unless you've experienced it yourself.. :) :) :)

un-named words...

dark thoughts swirl around
taking shape in the shadows of my mind
obscure and faint
yet with the definition and clarity of an architect's blueprint

emotions so difficult to describe
trickling like raindrops on my windowsill
echoing in the emptiness of the room
while my mind scrambles for rest...

a thousand words yearn to spill forth
spewing meaning, anger, contentment or peace
i look at the nonstop swirling motion
mute, in the face of such confusion

words must be set free
when the mind is calm
fickle words start torrents
they do not soothe troubled waters

calmness is hard to strive for
when the mind yearns otherwise
anger and confusion are sisters
bound tight like conjoined twins at birth..

be rational, i must
awhile it may take
lessons learn, i must
the hard way always...

by Angela Archana Vincent @ 6.35pm August 9, 2008