my 100th post

7 weeks into my expedition in Dallas, I finally have the opportunity to sit still for a second and write a posting, and my 100th one to top it all off :). Life's been pretty fascinating since I've left Baltimore.

The week long trip to TO was a great excuse to enjoy my mom and sister pamper me, meet with friends and essentially rejuvenate for a brief bit before the long haul to Dallas. We actually drove to Dallas all the way from Baltimore in our sweet lil Kia, which looked like its belly would burst open if we took a curve too fast..lol..we drove through some beautiful scenery, stopped in Abingdon and Memphis on the way to Dallas. The second day of our trip it was raining constantly, dangerous to drive potentially, but made the scenery even more vibrant.

When we finally got to Dallas, life seemed to go from 0 - 60 mph in 3 seconds flat. Settling in, unpacking, buying new furniture, starting a new job, meeting new people, adjusting to 100+ deg F temperatures, tornado warnings, not to mention a long and fabulous visit by my family for the July 4th weekend, has left me happy, tired, exhausted, stressed and contented..all in parts, yet the sum is greater than the parts I believe.

Health care as an industry has a vibe to it, which may take you a while to understand the depth and the passion people have for it, yet once you see it or feel it, you know that the passion exists for life. My stay at Children's has barely begun, yet the complexity of strengths and weaknesses that make the hospital are unendingly fascinating to me.

Personally and professionally, my move to Dallas has been anything but slow / stagnant. I can't wait for what's in store next!

holiday cheer

so it's that time of the year again..when we all scramble to buy gifts, plan our holiday travels and are generally excited for the holidays or morose about being apart from family/friends!

The attack on Mumbai left quite a few friends devastated and very upset about the lack of appropriate action by the authorities in India. Yet, as usually witnessed following such terrible attacks, everyone seems to be moving on with their lives. The disparity of sentiments and actions always astound me about the capacity of the human mind to bear witness to tragedy yet balance it with light-heartedness.

On Friday, Hopkins had candle light vigils for the victims of the attacks. Yet, except for a select few, most everyone seems to be unaffected by the terror across the ocean. The rest of the world is scampering to buy christmas gifts, plan their travel and enjoy the next few weeks of fun, food and family.

I sound like a Hallmark card, don't I? To be honest, I love this time of the year..I get to relax, decorate the house for Christmas and generally eat lotsa good food. I never realized how much I love it, until I thought about going home this year. Two weeks and I'm counting down..I get to go home to my parents, my friends, sis nd jiju, Christmas gifts, decorations and lotsa food :D..

I wonder if I'll miss being at my place and doing things with new friends...yet the idea of staying at home with my family and friends has me so excited! I can't wait to land at Pearson, run out into the arrival area, meet my family and then..my most awaited dream..a Tim Hortons iced cap..hehehhehehe..my sister has promised to have one ready for me as soon as I land in TO...yey!!! (my mom has also warned me to dress very warm since its apparently been snowing constantly in TO and its freezing out there...yey!!!!!!)

Happy 29th Anniversary, mama and dada!

Today marks my parents 29th wedding anniversary, so a toast (virtual of course) to my parents and their brilliant relationship - honesty, trust, respect, love and compromise - the 5 cornerstones that keep them together :)..

love ya both!

traditions...

What is it about being sick that reminds us about home and all the little idiosyncrasies...those little traditions which we have to make us feel cozy and safe.

I believe there is nothing quite like a bad cold to tease those memories of home - mama at hand with all my meds and food, my dad to whine about my day and my sister to keep me slightly sane :). Here in Baltimore, I don't even have the time to whine about my cold, although I must say my friends out here have been so solicitous of me these past few days, I treasure every single one of them.

Today marks the end of my fourth week at Baltimore, and it's been a good experience. I've learnt things about myself that I wouldn't discuss on this blog :), and I've made friends - friends with varied experiences, with different views and with very diverse cultural outlooks, so it's been a very 'enriching experience'.

Now, I have got to admit, I sound so unlike myself on this blog today, but I put that down to my being sick **whining about my cough and cold..here I go again..lol** and the fact that I completed my first mid-term at Hopkins today, and it did not feel like a total disaster..woohoo! Yes, I did celebrate my big midterm with chocolate chip cookies (yey!!).

I will end my blog with another rambling for those poetry geeks out there...

sightless world

the wind whispers in her ear
the sound of chimes far awar
She wonders if she will ever see
the light from that distant land

She feels her hand along the window sill
tracing its hard edges
searching for the knob
to close the window shut

The wind against her ear
is almost too much to bear
How can she withstand the thought
of always listening, but never seeing

Sight is lost but to a few
yet, it's value is known only to those few
The rest are blind to the value there is
content to meander sightless in their world

A strand of her hair
falls against her cheek
she brushes it away abruptly
unwilling to feel it touch her tears

Tears trickling slowly
as she gazes over the plains
the wind whispering in her ear
the promises of the world she will never see...

by Angela Archana Vincent @ 9.45pm Sept 26, 2008

home...

home...
where does that exist
i've heard it said
that it's where the heart is
yet many more weep
at the mere thought
of leaving behind bricks and mortar
the essence of home to them..

To me, it's a place with your family
yet, I feel at home when I'm alone
is that right
or is that strange..
I believe it need not be either...

I love both options..
sitting in my room in Toronto
with my cup of tea
my mom cooking in the kitchen
my dad watching TV
my sister browsing the net
or here in Baltimore
where I sit alone
on my bed
wondering whether I should cook dinner
or eat raisin bran :)

Home is where you feel secure
safe within the confines of your personal space
certain that if something comes your way
you can deal with it.
I am at home in Toronto
and in Baltimore
with my family around
or all by myself...

by
Angela Archana Vincent

I miss you..

..my faithful lil ol blog :(

It sounds rather pathetic (yikes!), harsh yet true..how can you miss an inanimate/virtual item...but I miss blogging..the outpouring of thoughts and emotions had became a way of life. I would come home, read something interesting, and I would write all my thoughts for the world to read and comment upon.

Lately, I find I've become rather self-intensive...but now I'm back to my usual bubbly self!! My grad school applications have all been finalized, I was accepted into all my favs with fin aid, I might add (tootin my own horn, I know, I know)...my decision is final (I'm off to Johns Hopkins in the Fall, yey!)..I've planned for most contingencies and am now counting down to the start of my vacation period..

The thought of vacation...especially one where I do not have a set time-frame to return to work...is absolutey enchanting. I love work, but I find the thought of a long vacation just right...a nice long holiday before grad school has me smiling..constantly I might add :) :) :) ...oh, and the fact that I am going to India shortly, and get to see my grandma and aunts and uncles and cousins and a baby niece and nephew might have something to do with the constant smiles as well :)!

And before I forget, yesterday was my beautiful sister's birthday...so to mah darlin nutty sister, Happy Birthday buddi :) :) :)

and I will end my ramblings tonight with these words...

pristine forests all around
a rambling brook close by
a rock protrudes into my path
as we amble along the river's edge

behind us lies a rocky valley
the past which we have overcome
before us I see a high mountain
the future which we must conquer

rocks, valleys and mountains
are merely life's lessons
many more we must face together
before we can cross into the sky

- Angela Archana Vincent

snowed in...

This winter, it feels like we have a snow storm perpetually every other day..Now being in Canada, I know we have no right to complain (paradoxical statement, since I consider the ability to complain/whine mankind's right and duty..lol)..anyyway..apparently Canadians should not complain about the snow, since its a fact of life..bah humbug..but this year, I am really looking forward to spring and summer..beautiful flowers, spring weather, bright summery skies, long evening walks, yucky sticky subway rides, but overall the feeling of not being snowed in...

What? You don't believe me...well here's a sample of my view on Saturday afternoon...

oh..nd tomorrow is my dad's birthday..so I (ahem...) we cut the cake early tonight, since we all have such conflicting schedules tomorrow..it had nothing to do with the chocolate cake (beauty eh!)..:) :) :)

The many faces of Patriotism

Many people, specifically Indians, may not like the fact that I love this article by Amit Varma. His article emphasizes, underlines and reiterates my feelings about India and Patriotism. This article is a must-read for everyone who screams about being Indian and patriotic..I am not being negative about India or patriotism, rather I detest people who force their view on others, and this article should be a mandatory read for those people.

Here is an excerpt from the article, they struck a chord when I read them, so I had to reproduce them here:

In my view, there are two kinds of patriotism. The first kind involves feeling that your country is, in some way or the other, greater than others. Often, self-esteem is involved. Patriots of this kind will want others to share their feelings about their country. They might feel offended if someone suggests that their country is not all they imagine it to be.

The other kind of patriotism involves loving certain things about one’s country. This is a personal love, different in each individual’s case, and patriots of this sort will enjoy their patriotism without demanding that others share it.

If we were to be flippant about such grave matters, we could call these kinds of patriotism Mera Bharat Mahaan and Mera Bharat Mujhe Pasand.

I see myself as the second kind of patriot. When I think of the things I love about India, I think of concrete things in the real world, such as its food, its music, the languages that I’m fortunate to know. These don’t blind me from the many things wrong with the country - nor do I have any desire to impose my preferences on others.

The Mera Bharat Mahaan kind of patriot, on the other hand, is involved with a narrative of greatness. A key part of his identity is his Indianness. For this reason, he needs to believe that India is a great country, superior to others.

Symbols like the flag and the anthem are, thus, important to him. They represent his nationalistic fervour. Equally, a display like the Republic Day parade makes him feel proud. Its purpose is validation.

Pride

This need for validation was understandable in our early years as an independent country. We’d just gained independence after decades of being humiliatingly colonised. It was a mini-miracle that we existed, bridging such linguistic, religious and cultural divides. We needed to believe in ourselves as a nation.

And, let’s face it, there was a bit of a collective inferiority complex running through the country.
Sadly, even after 60 years of independence, that craving for validation remains. Why else do we make such a hue and cry every year about India’s entry to the Oscars, and ignore our own national awards? Why else do we rush to claim any foreign achiever with an Indian background as a national hero? (Sunita Williams, born in Ohio and raised in America, has been awarded the Padma Bhushan this year.) Why else do we go gaga with excitement when we hear of Madonna practising yoga or Gwen Stefani putting a Bindi on her head? Why else do we celebrate when Shilpa Shetty wins Big Brother, and ignore poor Rahul Roy, who won the desi version?
India has advanced leaps and bounds in the last couple of decades, but we still haven’t acquired the self-confidence that a mature democracy should have. Too many of us are still sensitive about symbols of our nationhood, and that’s a pity. We are proud, I believe, of entirely the wrong things.

As a nation that won its independence with such difficulty, if there is one thing we should be proud of, and should continue to aspire towards, it is freedom. Not just the freedom to vote, but freedom in every social and economic sense. As long as we don’t infringe on the freedom of others, we should be free to express our sexual preferences, to trade with others, to watch the films we want, to read the books we want, to say what we want. And yes, free to disrespect a flag or refuse to stand up when the anthem is played.

What’s the point of being a free country otherwise?

I tend to identify myself as Canadian, and most NRI's in North America, and Indians elsewhere are offended by it. In fact, it's commonplace to tease Indo-Canadian and Indo-American children as ABCD's or CBCD's. I do not understand the need for such pettiness.

Why is it important for everyone to screech from the roofs that they are Indian? Is it not sufficient if a child understands and honors their cultural value? Why should we prove it to others? Who should we prove it to? The people who left India and came out here to seek a 'better life' yet denounce the country they migrate to? Or those people who live in India and yearn to live elsewhere? I would call either groups of people hypocrites. The third group, would constitute people who live in India, value their culture and honor it. The third group would never force their ideas on others. Do you know why? Because one of the major tenets of Indian culture/history has been tolerance..tolerance of religion, of sexes, of sexuality and everything in between. Unfortunately, some traditionalists refuse to accept change, and others..well others are just hell-bent on being the first kind of patriots..Something, I find quite distasteful..

Oh well, to cap my ravings tonight, I believe Nationality is something a person should chose, whether I am Canadian, American, Indian or Nigerian, is something I chose to be. If it's forced upon me, it loses its value. However, my culture, that is something my parents taught me. My Indian culture is what my mom and dad taught me..being able to read, write and speak 3 regional languages; to cook a multitude of Indian dishes; appreciate the songs, the movies, the diaspora, that is what makes me proud of my culture...

1 down, 5 more to go...

So, here I am with yet another blog about grad school stuff.

I sent out my first grad school application today...and it feels good. I'm not as 'jumpy' or 'excited' as I thought I might be. But, I am quite happy with my submissions, so let's wait and see.

The fun's just beginning. I have 5 (!) more applications to send out..Yikes!! My weekend's going to be busy writing essays and revising drafts..Oh what fun!!

On a separate note, my 2 year old cousin was out here to celebrate the American Thanksgiving last weekend, and he is so adorable. My parents gifted him a cute little tricycle, and he hasn't figured out how to pedal as yet. But he loves the colors and loves sitting on his tricycle. Ask him whose bicycle it is, and he will proudly respond - Danny's! :) :) So cute..coming back to my original topic..although he doesnt know how to pedal, he's figured out that if I push the bike back and forth, it's almost as if he is pedalling.. the lil fellow!!..he sits on the bike, looks at me with his big black eyes, bats those lashes, and says 'Akka! (= older sister) Pedal'. If I tell him, 'Danny pedal', he'll respond 'No, Akka pedal'...:) :)

Sheesh, kids I'm tellin ya..so smart!

I'm going to quote my dad here...
"We call our parents fools, so wise we grow, our kids will call us so"...lol!!!!!

Yep dada, I agree..