Beginnings and ends..

Beginnings and Ends...

Ever wonder why it is
we always face cross-roads
over and over again
beginnings and ends criss-cross

It felt like yesterday
I started undergrad
here I am today
facing the end of grad school

My life has never been a straight path
yet many others face more tumultuous roads
yet the weight of the burden doesnt dimish
regardless of the role that I play

Daughter, friend, fiance, sister
aunt, cousin, colleague, professional
they represent facets of me
yet the facets are all truly me

I wonder if others feel the same
the end marks another beginning
the beginning marks the start of the end
the two are faithfully intertwined

The journey is always harried
in a rush forever to get to the end
yet from the beginning to the end
in the journey we learn our lessons best

I look out of my window
and expect to see my new horizons
new job, new colleagues, a new life
family, friends, and wedding preps

It's sometimes hard to see the ocean
because we focus on the pebbles
It's sometimes hard to focus on the pebbles
because the sand in our toes is a bother

I hope to see the sand, the pebbles and the ocean
the wind, the sun and the rain
while I stay within the shade of my umbrella
sipping my ice cold lemonade :D :D

Chaotic reality...

I sit with my legs crossed
imagining I am shielded by petals
huge yellow sunflower petals
and under my feet are the black centers...

I sit with my eyes closed
imaging I am in a rocking boat
a beautiful gondola in lovely Italy
with the sun shining upon my face...

I sit with clenched fists
imagining I hold a beautiful butterfly within
it's wings fluttering gently against my palms
a celebration of fragile strength...

I sit with my toes in the water
imagining I am listening to Zack Brown Band
the quintessential image of country music
relaxed music, casual folk and a lazy summer afternoon...

I sit with my feet stretched out
imagining I am at the beach
with the water lapping at my toes
a gentle breeze the only music to the chime of the waves...

I open my eyes
and wonder at the chaos I see
Closed eyes bring forth an imagination so vivid
it obliterates all the stress of a choatic reality!

By,
Angela A. Vincent
9.52pm - 2/28/10

Child Labor

In my previous post I spoke about personal tragedies and awe-inspiring courage. Is it a strange coincidence then that I should coem across two intriguing stories a few hours later.

The first one was about Sarah Kruzan, a 16 yr old, African American child in CA, USA, who was sentenced to life in prison without parole because she killed her pimp. The guy who raped and sold her to others. Fascinating and absolutely disgusting sometimes, the world we live in. I am not going to ignore the fact that there may be nuances of this case that need to be closely studied, but my understanding of the justice system is that it's always about the intention. Was it malicious, was it self-defense and so on. This case seems to have an awful lot of loopholes for it to be have been neglected as such. The 16 year old child is now a 29 year old woman who has spent 13 years of her life in prison. Do you ever stand to wonder how lucky you are to have the support of your family and friends?

The second one is about child labor - specifically the irony of children in India who labor to make balloons so that our children in USA and other 'developed' countries can enjoy them at various celebrations. This story in pictures of 6 year old children in India struggling in horrendous conditions is heart-breaking. Although I have some serious concerns about the way a Texas Middle School went about teaching their students about child labor, I cannot close my eyes to the atrocities that occur in the world. I think a simulated lesson will make everyone including you and me more aware of such cruelty. Do you ever stop to think about the child whose ahnds are rubbed raw trying to create that balloon you are holding in your hand?

Inspiration

Ever wonder what it feels like to be hungry, tired, cold, beaten down by life and lose the hope to live life? I find it amazing that sometimes people who are victims of societal brutality and personal tragedies are the strongest people we encounter. Their will to rise beyond their circumstances, their belief in humanity at large and their hope for a better tomorrow are awe-inspiring.

I am not rambling about generalities. I, like millions of others, watched CNN's Night for Heroes on Thursday night in total silence. It seemed impossible for anyone to adopt 48 children, spend their evening preparing food for those going hungry, or act as support for other women who are as battered as you were as a child. Inspiration comes in many ways and forms, and your circumstances shape you to be who you are!

my 100th post

7 weeks into my expedition in Dallas, I finally have the opportunity to sit still for a second and write a posting, and my 100th one to top it all off :). Life's been pretty fascinating since I've left Baltimore.

The week long trip to TO was a great excuse to enjoy my mom and sister pamper me, meet with friends and essentially rejuvenate for a brief bit before the long haul to Dallas. We actually drove to Dallas all the way from Baltimore in our sweet lil Kia, which looked like its belly would burst open if we took a curve too fast..lol..we drove through some beautiful scenery, stopped in Abingdon and Memphis on the way to Dallas. The second day of our trip it was raining constantly, dangerous to drive potentially, but made the scenery even more vibrant.

When we finally got to Dallas, life seemed to go from 0 - 60 mph in 3 seconds flat. Settling in, unpacking, buying new furniture, starting a new job, meeting new people, adjusting to 100+ deg F temperatures, tornado warnings, not to mention a long and fabulous visit by my family for the July 4th weekend, has left me happy, tired, exhausted, stressed and contented..all in parts, yet the sum is greater than the parts I believe.

Health care as an industry has a vibe to it, which may take you a while to understand the depth and the passion people have for it, yet once you see it or feel it, you know that the passion exists for life. My stay at Children's has barely begun, yet the complexity of strengths and weaknesses that make the hospital are unendingly fascinating to me.

Personally and professionally, my move to Dallas has been anything but slow / stagnant. I can't wait for what's in store next!

Murky skies..

I see colors
blue, gray, pink and black
mixed in with a dash of white
the colors of the murky skies..

As words threaten my life..
words spoken by others..
words I wish I had spoken..
words I fear I will speak soon...

Life's ambiguities I'm not sure I understand
Fathom, like, comprehend, approve of..
yet we are all forced to expand our horizons
into the murky skies, even as we desist..

What can I do to minimize the destruction?
If there is any to be visualized..
What can I do to visualize the damage..
if what is lost is internal and personal...

Depth of words
Depth of thoughts
Depth of emotions
I lack nothing thereof

Yet expressing the most basic words
turn the colors darker and drearier
The blacks and grays overwhelm the pink and blues
turning the murky skies into the dark night...

By,
Angela Archana Vincent

ravaged...

Ravaged by the world
I hide in the shadows
a mere whisper
in a world of similar souls...

It is so easy to stand by
and let anger consume you
Yet so difficult to articulate
the emotion into concise words...

The world in its entirety
shrinks until it exists in finite space
an air bubble perfectly proportioned
encapsulating that one conversation...

Memory so faint
I barely know what I say
Anger makes me whisper incoherently
and the ravaged becomes the ravager...

Best,
Angela Archana Vincent

spring blossoms, road trips, grad school and so much more...

I can't believe that I'm at the end of my grad coursework, and am headed back into the typical workforce in 4 weeks flat..where did time fly by?

Third and Fourth terms went by in a jiffy and I'm looking at the last two weeks of classes already..yikes..two weeks is right!! Hmmm...wonder if I should slow down a bit and enjoy student life while it lasts :)))...

Oh well..I guess the memories of impromptu visits to a friend's at 11pm, hanging out with the girls watching a movie, or the rather long road trip with my family from Toronto to Baltimore and on to DC will form the crux of my grad school life..not bad at all.. :) .. and since I'm headed away from Baltimore and those gorgeous friends who kept me sane while I was here..a toast to them all...

Spring Blossoms..

Spring blossoms bright and cheery
I see them all around me
they whither away during my favourite season
but watching them brightens my day

Friends like that are many around me
Those who keep me company
in the dark of the night
but disappear during my cheery days...

A toast if I may...
To those who listen to me whine
To those who give me sound advice
To those who share their stories with me
To those who are good friends of mine
To those spring blossoms who are precious and few :))

By,
Angela Archana Vincent.

Turmoil

calm waters never last
ever wonder why that is?
change is like rain
predictable sometimes, rarely always so...

struggles seem endless
tears fathomless and useless
simple pleasures help us daily
to forget the turmoil and move beyond...

a new dawn seems so close
the night past barely a blur
my memory so faint, is it really so?
I doubt..I doubt..the turmoil and dawn are intertwined so...

By Angela Archana Vincent

2009..month 2, post 1

Sigh..it's 2009 already, I'm back in Baltimore and it's February 4th..yikes!! where did the time go? I still feel like I'm in Toronto waiting for the vacation to set-in :D

Oh well, it's true what they say..time flies by, when you are too busy to take note. The holiday season was chaotic, fun, stressful and relaxing in equal measure. Being back in Baltimore took a little getting used to, but home feels good! Classes and deadlines keep me on my toes, the interviews for next year's field placement keep my busy busy busy...and my family keeps me grounded in reality :)!

Life's been pretty good, for the most part. The weather in Baltimore has been quite perfect - a few cold days, mostly 'fall' weather - my favourite...The next few weeks are crucial and exciting - so a toast to warm memories and exuberant anticipation :D

Oh, and yep, I'm already planning my Spring Break...vacation, here I come!!